Sam Kilgarriff

"Uhg." - Sam, upon encountering an untenable situation.

Samson "Sam" Kilgarriff (born May 1, 1989, see "Birthdate" below) is one of the main characters of the web comic. He and his wife Sedine are owners/residents/landlords of a duplex in suburban Knightville, ND. Sam additionally works the night shift as a security guard alongside his friend and cousin-in-law Roy Buxton at Very Big Corp.

Known Aliases

 * "Viral Vid-Man"
 * "Lord of The Lumbercats"
 * "Samson Kilgarriff" (revealed on .)

Relatives

 * Sedine Kilgarriff (wife)

Birthday
Sam's birthday has been confirmed as being May 1st on at least two occasions as being May 1st, giving him the Taurus star sign. The "About In Security" page on GoComics.com has listed his age as 28 since January 2017, the start of the series. Though not strictly on a one-to-one basis, time in the series passes roughly the same as in the real world. Based on these factors, his birthdate is May 1, 1998.

Early Life
Sam was raised by a couple who lived their lives practicing tenets of extreme political correctness, going so far as to give him dolls and an "Easy-Bake Stove" as a child, in an effort to avert any potential gender stereotyping, the stove presumably contributing to Sam developing an early aptitude towards preparing meals, a craft which he practices to this day. 

Despite his parents — or perhaps as rebellion against them — Sam grew up embracing many typically masculine tastes, including a fondness for chainsaws, action cartoons and video games — which he occasionally plays with his friend and co-worker, Roy Buxton.

Education
Though a High School graduate, Sam never completed college, describing some of the classes as "Experimental Folk Dancing" and "critical tree hugging", which suggests that his parents may well have had direct input into the choice of school and/or curriculum. (

During his time in college, Sam met and attempted to date Ellie, who proved oblivious to his romantic intentions.

At some point - either during or after college - Sam moved into Apartment #108, located at 320 Town Ave. in Knightville, ND.

First Meeting With Sedine
Upon encountering Sedine at a Nutscar Rally, Sam became unnerved by her advances and fled the scene, dropping his wallet in the process. Sedine picked it up, and, reading his driver's license, she discovered his address: 320 Town Ave., Apt 108 in Knightville, ND. Having assessed him to be "H-material" (husband material), she commenced a romantic pursuit. 

NOTE: As this information was revealed within a flashback detailed by a potentially unreliable narrator, some of the data points may eventually prove apocryphal.

[That Sam's license prominently displays both "CLASS: DM" and "REG" notations potentially suggests a reference/connection to role-playing games, though in context any such references may have been romanticized or exaggerated for dramatic effect.]

Wedded Bliss
Sam would later marry Sedine, and - with funds loaned to them by Sedine's parents - the couple would purchase a duplex in suburban Knightville, ND.

In addition to rental income from their tenant - the aforementioned Ellie - Sam supplements the couple's earnings by working nights as a security guard.

Background information

 * Official description from the "About" page for on GoComics.com: Sedine’s husband. He’s the straight man, cleaning up behind his wild wife, and working a nightshift as a security guard.

Trivia

 * Sam appears to be left-handed.
 * Sam thinks Sedine's "duckface selfie" expression makes her look like "an evil troll", blurted out while half-asleep. 3/28/17.
 * Sam has a fascination with chainsaws, first observed on 8/22/17.
 * One of Sam's inadverant claims to fame is becoming a "viral vid-man" when cellphone footage of him re-enacting the title sequence from a popular 80's cartoon is uploaded onto the internet at some point prior to 8/25/17.
 * Sam and Sedine's favorite "couples movie" is the classic 1942 Humphrey Bogart/Ingrid Bergman Romantic Drama Casablanca, stated with aplomb on 9/4/17.
 * Sedine's Christmas gift for Sam two years in a row: an "Egg-Beater-Tax-Preparer-Toilet Brush", the second item returned to the store by her on 11/28/17.
 * Sam's apartment number - 108 - is shared by a that of a holding cell in the Knightville Police Station.