Sedine Kilgarriff

"My husband told me a lot about you. He said you are so abnormal! But you aren't abnormal at all!!  It's just your size that's not normal." — Charlene Buxton, after assessing Sedine.

"Nonsense! What law says so?!!" — Sedine, occasionally as justification for her actions.

Sedine Kilgarriff (born January 6, 1994, see "Birthdate" below) is one of the main characters of the web comic. She and her husband Sam are owners/residents/landlords of a duplex in suburban Knightville, ND. Sedine has worked a variety of jobs, including security guard and as an assistant to "Santa" at the local mall.

Known Aliases

 * “The Potentate of Consumerism.”
 * "Sexiest Vampire Diva"
 * "Christmas Dalek"
 * "Sedine Kilgarriff" (Married name, revealed on .)
 * "Mini-Meany", stated by Roy on

Relatives

 * Sam Kilgarriff (husband)
 * Roy Buxton (cousin, )

Birthday
Sedine's birthday has been confirmed as being January 6th on at least two occasions, giving her the Capricorn star sign.

Her age has been listed as 22 on the "About In Security" page on GoComics.com since launched on January 2, 2017. Sam chided her for showing her leg in "It Happened One Day" to entice drivers to stop and help them, saying she was 22. Sedine also confirmed her age was 22 during the events of "Second Childhoodlum" when she was picked up from jail by Sam. Both took place during summer.

However, the following January when she was in jail for being reckless while celebrating her birthday, Sam brought her a cake with a "24" on it ("HEY, It’s My Birthday"). That Thanksgiving when she greeted her father at the door, she said she was only a year older ("Cranksgiving… Again").

Though not strictly on a one-to-one basis, time in the series passes roughly the same as in the real world. Given that Gabby is 1.5 years old on the same "About" page and Sedine was 24 in 2018, this places the start of at the beginning of January 2017, making Sedine's birthdate January 6, 1994. The previous statements about her being 22 should have actually said she was 23 at the time.

Early Years
Sedine was raised by a couple who imparted mixed messages upon her childhood psyche: Her mother was - and remains - fixated on money as a source of financial security, going so far as to deny her daughter a box of Funky Podunkis brand cereal in Sedine's youth - which may be a root cause for some of the emotional issues she would later express - while her father was more affable and easy-going, later in life going so far as to lend Sedine and her husband the funds to purchase their duplex home.

In hindsight, Sedine felt that she was denied many activities in her youth, slumber parties, talking about guys, dancing, partying all night and other rites of passage, further fueling a nascent unrest which would later manifest in the form of typical "teenage rebellion". 

Aspiring Artist
Finding art to be an outlet of expression, Sedine would sculpt a rather notorious and frightening clown-chimp statue while in high school, which she would later describe as her "greatest achievement" and "truth incarnate", a physical expression of her "deepest thoughts" and "high school essence".

First Meeting With Sam
Upon encountering Sam at a "Nutscar Rally" Sedine expressed her interest, only for Sam to flee the scene, dropping his wallet in the process. Sedine picked it up, and, reading his driver's license, she discovered his address: Having assessed him to be "H-material" ("husband material), she commenced a romantic pursuit.

NOTE: As this information was revealed within a flashback detailed by a potentially unreliable narrator, some of the data points may eventually prove apocryphal.

[ That Sam's license prominently displays both "CLASS: DM" and "REG" notations potentially suggests a reference/connection to role-playing games, though in context any such references may have been romanticized or exaggerated] for dramatic effect.]

Wedded Bliss
Sedine would later marry Sam, and - with funds loaned to them by Sedine's parents - the couple would purchase a duplex in suburban Knightville.

In addition to rental income from their tenant, Ellie, Sedine occasionally supplements the couple's earnings by working in a variety of fields, including security guard and as an assistant to "Santa" at the local mall.

Background information

 * Official description from the "About" page for on GoComics.com: Sam’s wildcat wife—the funny woman of the strip. Sedine proactively pushes herself into a variety of situations as she pursues friendships, love, and careers.

Trivia
NOTE: This is likely a topical reference: Given the sliding timescale" which tends to apply towards fictional characters, the observation should not necessarily be taken as canon.
 * Sedine has a "Barney Fife" relationship with firearms: They always go off in her hand, even while the safety is engaged, as shown on 2/16/17.
 * Sam thinks Sedine's "duckface selfie" expression makes her look like "an evil troll", blurted out while half-asleep and operating beneath the legal definition of "Diminished Capacity" on 3/28/17.
 * Sedine utters the phrase "Ut!" - popularized by Bob Burden's character, Flaming Carrot - on 4/3/17.
 * Sedine finds plush decor to be "tasteless", a critique levied towards Ellie's window accessories on 5/8/17.
 * "Nonsense! What law says so?!!" - a phrase occasionally deployed by Sedine as a defense of her actions or intent - is first utilized on 5/12/17.
 * Ellie finds Sedine to be "cute, and active, and sweet", praise lavished semi-effectively upon Sedine on 5/15/17.
 * Sedine is prone to "shaky cam" induced nausea, as demonstrated on 6/9/17.
 * Sedine’s birth year is suggested to be 1994, if one does the math presented on 6/16/17.
 * Sedine's favorite frozen confection is the Green Tea Pop, first actively yearned for on 6/20/17.
 * A muddied Sedine was mistaken for a "Baby Swamp Ape" on 6/21/17.
 * Sedine is able to easily pass for Sam’s "lil' sister", a tactic called upon to avoid jail time on 6/24/17.
 * Sedine’s parents never allowed her to set off more than one firework on the Fourth of July, a shortcoming of her childhood rued upon on 7/1/17.
 * Sedine believes the Fourth of July to be known as "National Fireworks Day", underscored on 7/3/17.
 * Both Sedine and Roy briefly suspect Ellie of being a "lizard person" an hypothesis first postulated by Roy on 7/11/17.
 * Sedine co-opts Sam’s catch-phrase, “Uhg!” on 7/11/17.
 * Sedine is drawn, raven-like, towards "glassy, shiny, kitschy" objects. Vulnerability revealed on 8/21/17.
 * Sam and Sedine’s favorite "couples movie" is the classic 1942 Humphrey Bogart/Ingrid Bergman romantic drama Casablanca stated with aplomb on 9/4/17.
 * Sedine considers herself to be the "Potentate of Consumerism" after scaling the supermarket shelving on 9/16/17.
 * Sedine refers to Sam as “My Honey-Darling” - somewhat mirroring Lum's pet name for Ataru Moroboshi in Rumiko Takahashi's popular series, Urusei Yatsura - on 10/3/17.
 * Sedine's Christmas gift for Sam two years in a row: an "Egg-Beater-Tax-Preparer-Toilet Brush", the second such item returned to the store by Sedine on 11/28/17.
 * Sedine's "Elf Queen"/"Christmas Dalek" costume inexplicably reduces her to approximately 2½ heads high, an effect first observed on 12/4/17.
 * Sedine is established to have just turned 24, according to the cake Sam gifts her with on 1/6/18, though whether she will age in real time remains to be seen.